NEW YORK—Calling his nightly study sessions the difference between winning and losing the war against the deep state, New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers reportedly took time Monday to demonstrate to rookies how to properly break down the Zapruder film. “Right now Umbrella Man is motioning, and that tells me they’re using two firing squads,” Rodgers said before pausing the footage onscreen to highlight the crossing routes the bullets would take through Dealey Plaza. “The Secret Service is always going to try to disguise the fact that this is a kill zone, but look at the formation they’re in. JFK is totally isolated, and that’s a dead giveaway they’re in on it. All this needs to be second nature to you, and the only way that’s gonna happen is if you’re like me and study this shit for hours after every single game.” Rodgers then told the rookies to assume the government had been studying them just as intensely and would exploit every one of their weaknesses.
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